U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
