i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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