Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
