A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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