That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
