I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
