I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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