I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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