Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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