So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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