I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
