so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
