she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
