i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
