She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
