Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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