if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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