she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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