I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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