how can u be prego again
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
