get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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