I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
