i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
