Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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