I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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