Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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