Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Im part way to drunk.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
