i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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