i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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