Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
