His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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