I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
