Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
