you turned your livingroom into a bong?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
