This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
