i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Come share oat with me in your robe
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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