Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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