Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
my poor anus
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
