i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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