why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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