I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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