Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
