just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
