): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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