People in love make me want to vomit
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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