I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
