Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
