Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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