I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
