I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
