you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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