Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
