? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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