MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
