I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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