I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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