Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
