i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize