I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i drank out of a bidet.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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