Rock
Scissors
Fuck
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize