You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
