he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
